Disclaimer: The information, views, and opinions expressed in Steammate Publications are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of Steamroller Animation and the affiliates of Steamroller Studios. The content is meant to share the thoughts and experiences of the many different people who work at Steamroller Animation and does not constitute professional advice or services.

A critique is an absolutely essential part of learning and growing. It’s an invaluable tool that, when applied with hard work, can reap unbelievable results. Even from the earliest age, we are critiqued by our parents. We are told how we should do something, or many times, how not to do something—our entire education system is based on it. In kindergarten it was gold stars, then in grade school, it was, well, grades. These symbols are simply critiques stripped down to their most basic form. We’ve all been told how we could do something better by a friend, and sometimes told again and again when we don’t listen. Sometimes it’s wrapped in love and we don’t even realize it. Sometimes it’s upsetting, sometimes it’s awkward, and sometimes it can feel like a punch to the face. We have lots of experience with critiques, and the more experience we have, the easier it should get, right? Then why do so many of us avoid them at all costs? Why do we have such a hard time processing even the most well-intentioned and carefully crafted critique? We should be experts by now, but we aren’t. I don’t have all of the answers, but I will share with you some techniques I found that work for me. Ultimately, though, it’s your fight and you are in charge of how you apply them.

First, a little background on me. I co-founded Steamroller Studios along with some pretty great partners about nine years ago. During that time, I’ve had to do a lot of growing and learning to get to where I am today and this was only possible by taking and applying critiques from the many talented people around me. It’s been a blessing that I’m eternally grateful for, but that doesn’t mean it’s always been easy. I remember one especially difficult critique, the kind of critique where I could have easily gotten defensive, mad, cried, or acted on any number of other justifiable emotions. Instead, I exercised the techniques below. After hearing this, my critiquer told me that I reminded them of Rocky because I could get knocked down but then bounce right back up again, ready to fight. Now, I’m a huge Rocky fan, so I’ll take that comparison any day of the week, even if it’s wishful thinking on my part. But the analogy got me thinking and I discovered that there was more to this off-the-cuff remark than I initially thought. Maybe there were some lessons I had learned from the fictional hero that were worth analyzing. There’s one particular scene in the sixth movie (Yes there are a ton of these things) that I love and I think illustrates the mentality I feel is so important for success. He’s talking to his son and says this:

“It ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!”

I want to be clear here, this does not mean you should accept toxic behavior. There is absolutely a right way and a wrong way to give a critique. If someone is bullying you, that is not okay. What I’m talking about is your mental posture when on the receiving end of valid criticism. Even the most perfectly crafted critique can feel like a gut punch. But remember that one punch doesn’t decide a fight. No one becomes a champion without getting beat up along the way. Go into it prepared and armed with the tools to react accordingly, and you might find yourself looking forward to your next critique instead of avoiding it. Having the right mindset is crucial if any of the following techniques are going to work.

Okay, now you’re ready for a fight! You’ve hyped yourself up, listened to some pre-fight music and you’re ready to take your lumps. But your mentality is just the beginning. You’ll also need the technical skills to help you succeed and learn from your mistakes. The tips below are some widely accepted techniques for handling a critique, along with my own insights. I feel it’s important to say that these only work in a trusting relationship with a critiquer who sincerely has your best interests in mind. Giving a good critique is a whole other topic worthy of its own article. However, we’re going to focus on the only part we can control in a critique: how we take it. Having said that, let’s ring the bell and get started!

Be Cool, Calm, and Empathetic

Our first instinct when being critiqued is to be defensive. But when your arms are up, you can’t see what's in front of you. In order for any critique to be successful you need to maintain a calm demeanor. If you start to feel defensive or angry, take a breath and wait it out. Most of the time you’ll find that the initial emotion of being upset goes away as you have time to think about it. Something that might help you keep your cool is practicing empathy for the critiquer. In my opinion, empathy may be the most important emotion humans are capable of. It’s tempting to say something like “Love,” but in the words of the wise philosopher Adam Meyer:

“Love can start wars, but Empathy can end them.”

If you’ve ever given a critique, you know how tough it can be on that end as well. Try and remember that this person has your best interest at heart. While it’s difficult for them too, they appreciate you enough to overcome the challenge and help you out. If they genuinely have the right motivation, understanding this can go a long way in keeping you calm and receptive to what is being said.

Actively Listen and Learn

I think we can all agree that the whole point of critique is to learn and grow. In order to do that we need to listen to what is being said. This might seem obvious, but you can’t learn and speak

at the same time. As amazing as the human brain is, it is shockingly binary when it comes to this. Talking only works if someone is listening. This sounds simple, but trust me, it’s easier said than done. It can be tempting to interject your thoughts along the way, maybe to provide context or to defend your position, but now is the time to actively listen to what is being said. Your top priority should be learning everything the critiquer has to say. I wish I had another awesome quote of my own to illustrate my point, but I think I’ll let Epictetus, a real philosopher, handle this one:

“We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

This is your time to learn. Even if you don't initially agree with what is being said, you may be surprised to discover that the more you listen, the more you start to understand where the other person is coming from. This is why the first step of being calm is so important. You have to get over that initial wave of assumptions and allow the person time to fully articulate their thoughts. And remember you aren’t listening for your turn to talk, you are actively listening to what they are saying and trying to understand where they are coming from. Any questions or perspectives you might want to share, hold on to them. We’ll get to them later.

Be Grateful and Respectful

You’ve taken your hits and now comes the really tough part: you need to thank them. This is the equivalent of shaking your opponent's hand after a fight. It shows respect. You don’t have to agree with what is said, but you’re showing them you appreciate them taking the time and effort to help you improve. Think of it this way, if you’re working out and a friend is spotting you, you’re thankful for them because they’re looking out for you. This is the same thing. If someone helps you out, you say thank you. If you need to, remind yourself that a critique is a good thing. They are designed to help you grow. Another thing you could do is use that empathy again. When you understand the other person is just trying to help you out, it can make all the difference. The goal isn’t just to say thank you, it’s for you to genuinely mean it. That’s only possible when you truly value a good critique and the positive impact it can have.

Ask Questions

Finally! You’ve been calm, actively listened to what your critiquer said, and thanked them for sharing. Now it’s time to take all of those questions and thoughts that have been building up during this whole process and articulate them. Tread carefully though, this is also the most dangerous part of the critique and it only works if you’ve done everything above with earnestness. If you’ve just been waiting for your turn to speak, then it will all be for nothing. Use this time to ask for more clarity on something you didn’t quite understand. Maybe ask for some advice on how to approach a specific example. During this portion of a critique, I’ll often go back to the above three steps and cycle through them over and over as many times as needed. I ask a question, and while they answer I remain calm and I actively listen to what they say with a grateful heart. Then I ask another question and it starts all over again. Rinse and repeat.

DING DING! You made it! The critique is over and you handled it like a champ. But now the match is over, your adrenaline has worn off and the lights in the arena have been turned off. You’re alone with your thoughts and self-doubt starts to creep in. Was I ever really a champion or am I just an imposter? Maybe I’ve never done anything good and everything that was just said validates that. None of this is true of course, but this is the real fight. The one inside yourself. And I can’t help but look to my man Rocky yet again. There is another great scene in what is technically the 7th movie (Or is it the first Creed movie?) Anyway, in the scene, Rocky has Adonis look into the mirror and says,

“See that guy right there…That's your toughest opponent. I believe that in boxing, and I believe that in life.”

This is when you need to face yourself and all the lies your brain may start telling you. Mental health is no joke and I would encourage anyone struggling to speak with someone. I’m not a therapist but here are some things that I’ve found helpful in my own journey.

Separate Yourself From Your Work

The most important thing is to create some separation between your self-worth and the work you do. This is a tough thing to do, especially for an artist, because so much of what we do is personal to us. Every time we create we put a bit of ourselves out there for the world to see and judge. It can be incredibly scary to put ourselves out there and devastating if someone doesn’t like it. But we are not our work, try and remember that a critique is usually about something we did or made, not us as a person. I can’t stress this enough: we are not our roles, we are not our titles, and we are not our work.

Not All Critiques Are Made Equal

All critiques can affect us, but they shouldn’t all affect us the same way. For example, a critique from someone widely respected in your field should hold more weight than a critique from someone who isn’t. That’s not to say their critique has no value, you just need to weigh them proportionally. You may also want to weigh it a bit more if you are hearing the same critique over and over again from different people. You don’t need a well-respected critiquer if you are noticing a trend in what is being said. If one person yells at me while I’m driving down the highway, it’s probably no big deal. But if everyone starts yelling at me, I’m probably not driving very well. The same applies to bad advice or just plain bullying. Don’t let it get to you, and certainly don’t elevate it to the same level as a critique from someone you care for and respect. Weigh each one accordingly and you’ll find you can handle them much better.

Fix What Needs Work, Not Everything

If you throw a weak left jab, focus on improving just that. Too often we make the mistake of overcompensating after a critique. In an effort to prove ourselves, we try and fix everything we think is wrong all at the same time, even things that don’t need fixing. Or worse yet, we see the criticism as validation for all of our doubts and fears and give up entirely. Suddenly, we want to throw out everything we’ve built up until then. This can be difficult but try to take the critique at face value and focus your efforts where they can yield the best results. Remember, you didn’t get to where you are by accident. Take pride in your accomplishments and don’t allow a critique to rob you of those. Instead, use it for what it is, an opportunity for a new accomplishment.

Even after all of this, you may still find yourself struggling internally. I wish I had a better way of saying this but I’m in too deep now, so I’m going to stick with the boxing metaphor. Don’t give up and don’t quit! We all get knocked down. Every single one of us. We all fail. I don’t know one successful person who hasn’t. If you get knocked down to the canvas, take pride; you are in good company with the best champions out there. It isn’t getting knocked down that loses you the fight, it’s not getting back up. So get up, get back to the gym, get back in the game, and keep swinging. It’s what Rocky would do.