Kristin Grice: High Wire Empathy - Balancing a Strength & a Weakness in a People Driven Role
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When I was a sophomore in high school, there was a moment before the second semester where I made the decision to drop out of journalism as an elective. The reason I pursued journalism was because my English teachers had told me I had a knack for writing and that put me on a path to figure out where as a writer I would fit. I was already writing my own creative stories and trying to challenge myself to write screenplays. Right around the time I cut that elective, my History teacher, who was also the Film & Broadcast teacher, saw me writing my own screenplay in his class. He asked to read it and then, not too long after that, I was asked to sit in on the classes as an alternative elective. During that time, our teacher brought in a film director to speak to the class and at this point, I was still trying to find my place as a storyteller. Our guest speaker asked all of the students if there was anyone in the room who wanted to be in the film industry and my teacher pointed at me and said “That’s your next female Steven Spielberg”. Naturally, in my head, I disagreed. Now, whenever anyone asks “Why this industry?”, I tell them of this moment. I didn’t choose storytelling; storytelling found me.
The reason I share this particular moment in my life is because this moment was one of a few that impacted me in a powerful way. This particular moment defined the direction of my story and most importantly, it set me on the path to become the person I am today. I was set on the path to film school, to building friendships that taught me so much about myself I never knew, and to finding my voice as a writer. The choice to pursue that passion brought me challenges, failures, and many adventures. If not for that day in high school, I wouldn’t be where I am to share one of the other moments that made an impact on my personal journey. As someone who believes heavily in the idea that we are where we are for a reason, this moment was August 25th, 2021. This was the day I was hired as an Artist Manager at Steamroller Animation.
While I passionately pursued the opportunity to work with this company, I didn’t know that in a matter of weeks I was about to step into a role that would challenge me in ways I couldn’t even fathom. This role was going to push me out of my comfort zone when it came to my personal growth. Through the interview process, I was very vocal about my personal experiences with my mental health. I knew this was an important piece of myself to share as the role required me to connect and support other people’s personal and professional development. Since I was struggling to prioritize my mental health at the time, I had a feeling the role would be very challenging. Specifically, one of the things I have struggled with for most of my life is my empathy; if I were to call it my superpower then my empathy is both my greatest strength and my greatest weakness.
On one hand, my empathy has always guided me to take care of my friends in a unique way and meet people on a deeper level. Even when I second guess my empathy or whether or not I know the right thing to say, I manage to navigate a conversation on instinct if I lead my words with heart. However, my empathy has also cost me pieces of myself at times because I have always struggled to walk the high wire with such a heavy skill. Quite often I’ve lost my balance to go above and beyond for others, taking on their emotions, and even letting them impact my well-being. For a people-oriented role, where the foundation of that role is to essentially support other individuals in their growth, high wire empathy becomes a great challenge for me.
Image from The Walk directed by Robert Zemeckis
High wire empathy is a concept I use to refer to the art of practicing balance with an emotion that can both be positive and negative. If you’re watching a high wire act at a circus, sometimes they have those really long poles while trying to walk across the wire. In this case, I’m attempting to balance my empathy on the wire while carrying this pole and as I’m maneuvering my way across, I might add weights to one side of the pole. If I add a weight to the positive side of the pole, my empathy serves me well. I’m able to support the individual, emotionally and mentally, but if I put too much weight on that side, I will still lean over and fall. There’s no weight on the negative side to stop me from falling off the wire. The same situation can occur if I were to put weights on the negative side of the pole. For me, this heavily tends to look like I’m taking on the emotional responsibility of another individual and absorbing it as my own. Which means I can no longer advocate or support to the best of my ability in that situation. At times, it also means that I can become emotionally charged and impact others around me negatively.
It’s been about two years into this role and as the role itself has changed, I’ve grown in it as well. There were often times in the beginning I felt the job was taking a heavy toll on my mental health as well. At first, I struggled to separate my emotional attachment to the relationships I was trying to create. I also struggled with prioritizing my own mental health while trying to take care of others. Through these challenges, my empathy has also shown me, however, that true advocacy doesn’t work without objectivity. If I added weights to the negative side of the pole, I wasn’t just doing a disservice to myself; I was also impacting the individual I was trying to advocate for.
The real goal of walking the high wire with both a strength and a weakness is to maintain balance by understanding how both sides work together. For me, this has required a lot of self-awareness, which is always an important part of myself I consistently develop. Everyone I work with is different. Every situation I encounter is different. With this in mind, to gain that balance, I have to recognize where the balance is off every single time. Even with practice over the last two years, the more I’ve done this job, I still find times where I second guess what my empathy is doing. I’m up on the high wire still trying to catch my balance and engage with my inner dialogue. In those moments, I’m conditioning myself to evaluate a conversation or determine if what I said was objective and compassionate. I’m assessing my presence in a conversation and how I contributed to the relationship, as an empathetic individual and an advocate. In this role, I am working to train myself to listen more, react less, and maintain an emotional balance. At the end of the day, I always want to remember I’m on that high wire.
The wonderful thing about those high wire acts is that the goal of the performer is to never get across to the other side. Mastering the act is the primary and building the mental fortitude is a priority. Like levels in a game, the mastery of the skill gets harder as they go because they’re adding objects or props to the act. I think no matter how far I go in my personal development, I’m always going to picture myself on that high wire, finding that center, and always striving for that balance. I’ve found that mastering my high wire empathy has now become one of my goals I strive to achieve not just in a people drive role, but in all aspects of my life.
